Some people – disaster response personnel and Peace Corps volunteers in particular – come home to the US and can’t re-adjust. Fat, sedentary Americans and their trivial concerns strike them as ridiculous. Those people bug me. They bug me a lot. They stand around airports looking superior and worldly and they can’t buy a damn sandwich without talking about the decadence of choosing between so many kinds of meat.
I understand how you can get that way. The contrast in lifestyle between the US and the developing world is heartbreaking and stunning. No thinking person can live through that contrast and emerge unscathed. It leaves a mark on you, and it should.
The thing is, though – pudgy happy Americans, drunken Brits, and overfed Germans are living the life that everyone on this planet wants. Those Darfurian refugees who shattered your heart would give both arms for the chance at a place to live, a gas hogging car, and as much McDonalds as they can eat. The actual purpose of development work is to help the whole world reach a point where they can live in blissful ignorance of poverty.
There is nothing noble about suffering. People don’t do it on purpose, and a difficult life does not automatically make you stronger, wiser, or morally superior. Mostly, it makes you hungry and miserable. And having met and cared about people who do suffer does not require you to despise those who don’t.
Photo Credit: Amapolas
September 10, 2008
Suffering does not make you special
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8 comments:
I am guilty of being that way sometimes, usually without meaning to be. And I agree its annoying for everyone (including me in that state). Great point, Alanna, I fully appreciate what you are saying!
I agree that people need to not glamorize suffering or find superiority in it. But I also just need to stick up for people going through reverse culture-shock. It's not necessarily about putting on airs or despising happy people. It can be genuinely difficult to come home to a place full of things, ideas, and norms you'd never noticed before but were always there.
Yes, some people are arrogant jerks who think way too much of themselves and their own worldliness. But many people just need some time and patience while they confusedly, clumsily readjust. I think it's worth trying to tell the two groups apart.
Interesting. I wrote of this before, but in a different way: http://vasco-pyjama.livejournal.com/213602.html
I wrote: "To me, Australia is a blissful privileged utopia full of innocent people who don't know how the majority of the world lives. To most, their biggest worries are boredom and wealth accumulation. And my friend hates it because he sees this as wilful ignorance and conspicuous consumption."
I suppose it depends on the individual.
I think that reverse culture shock is one thing that of course is expected. I have been through it before. Wallowing in culture shock is not okay and frankly demeaning to the very people you purport to show your righteous indignation for. If you really want to raise awareness of the poverty that you have seen, then DOING something about it substantive is infinitely better than lecturing ad infinitim.
Wow, this one hit a nerve.
@pragzz - Thank you!
@notexactlyroughingit I agree completely about reverse culture shock, and I have come back to the US more than once and basically hidden in my mother's living room for a week until I can regain my America-skills. (my friends have learned to accept I will not call them if I am on a brief visit) I was writing here about people who seem to cultivate this kind of attitude.
@vasco-pyjama I just went and read that entry, and we are definitely touching on the same thing. My own feeling has always been that the purpose of development work is to help the whole world reach a point where they can live in blissful ignorance of poverty.
@vanessamason - I like your use of the word wallowing. That's exactly the sense I get.
when I saw the title of your post, I thought you were referring to McCain suffering in the Vietnam war... .
Anyway, interesting post. A friend just came in from Germany, and she observed how America has too many choices.. she was too overwhelmed. It only gets overbearing when these kinds of observations are made to make it look like 'suffering" or a lack of resources makes for a better life. Also, they should know not having so many choices is not necessarily a sign of suffering.
Zorah, that's a great point about fewer choices not meaning a lesser life.
i love your blog! i'm so glad i found you on twitter.
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